


don't give up

by BeautifulNight2drinkTequila



Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2021-02-24 16:54:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21621295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeautifulNight2drinkTequila/pseuds/BeautifulNight2drinkTequila
Summary: Set after the scene in the locker room at the hospital in IWTB and them trying to work through their problems.  #MSR
Relationships: Fox Mulder/Dana Scully
Comments: 23
Kudos: 61





	1. I won`t be coming home

“What I can tell you is that I won't be coming home” 

Mulder felt like the ground was shifting beneath him, it couldn’t have been what she said, could it?  
“Scully…” he felt sick and light-headed, but managed a pleading “don’t do this…” after taking a shaky breath. What was happening? This whole conversation made no sense, she was the one who encouraged him to join the manhunt in the first place...just breathe…  
”Don’t do this now.” He barely registered her saying to please not argue with him, that she had her own battles to fight, all he could think about was how tired and resigned she looked.  
“Well ...good luck, then.” He had to get out of there, anywhere, where the reality of her words had no bearing, where he could stop this crushing disappointment from taking hold.  
He got in the car, barely registering where he was going. How did they get here? He felt so disconnected, he knew she was struggling, but his late night accusation of not telling him about the boy had felt childish, so he hadn’t pursued it. He had shaved his beard with the intention of returning to bed and kissing her breathless, sweeping her off her feet and making her forget about all the things that weighed them down. But of course the phone had rung, the pied piper was playing and he had put her worries out of his mind.  
How many careless turns had he taken that led him to this precise moment? And what about her? How long had she been toying with these words, while she was hiding behind her newfound calling? Anger flooded his mind like poison,and he almost welcomed it, preferred it to the numbness that encased his heart. When had they given up on each other and how had he walked out of the hospital without looking back?  
She had said that the missing agent could have been him, or worse, her, so how was he supposed to walk away now? She said she couldn’t ask him to give up, but what was she asking? Did he even have a say in the future of their shared lives? Her words kept replaying in his mind and he realized that during the entire conversation she hadn’t said we once, except while stating that they were no longer FBI. It was you and me or I, but never we. When was the last time they had shared that pronoun in her mind? What had happened to their dream of a home and life shared?  
“I don’t know what else to do.” How long had she carried that feeling? But he needed to focus, she had made it clear that there was nothing he was able to do, so maybe he could still save these women. Maybe he could make Scully understand then, that there were good reasons to search the darkness, to protect and find the ones threatened to be consumed by it.  
He jumped at the chance to go back to Father Joes, anything to keep his mind off her words. He couldn’t believe that the first person he saw there was Scully. What was she doing here, especially after that speech she gave him? He couldn’t keep the angry edge out of his voice, as he asked her why she was there. But of course, no answer was forthcoming and he was glad that Agent Whitney took over before he said something he might regret at a later date. With her words “Mulder, it’s over!” still booming in his ears, he got in the car not wanting to find out what that all included, and left her standing in the cold and clear night.  



	2. Don’t give up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scullys perspective on what happens after their conversation in yet another hospital hallway

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a lot harder for me than originally thought. Thank you to ThatWALKERKid for being my Scully-whisperer  
> As always, I don't own these characters or anything related to the X Files besides a worrisome large DVD and Fan memorabilia collection.  
> Thank you for reading.

Scully: “Mulder, you think I don't understand, but I do. This stubbornness of yours, is why I fell in love with you.”

Mulder: “It's like you said, it's why we can't be together.”

*******

His words echoed in her mind, but she barely registered them over the sound of her pounding heart. So this was it, the moment she had feared for so long. After years of searching and running, through losses and hurt, his quest had finally succeeded where so many others had tried and failed. And he said it with such ease, like it hardly mattered. She knew she had played her part, a dangerous push and pull between wanting to support him and seeing him happy, and her fear for their shared life and the toll his obsession took on both of them. Why didn’t it seem to matter to him what she needed or feared? How could he utter these words, and then leave her standing in yet another hospital hallway, like he hadn’t just pulled the rug from underneath her?

She couldn’t allow herself to be crushed by this feeling right now, she needed to focus. 

So, she turned on her heels and walked back into her office to continue her research and to swallow the tears that were starting to rise in the back of her throat. 

_Don’t give up._

Maybe Father Joe should've given that advice to both of them, she thought angrily. Mulders words carried such a final ring to them, was this really how their story was coming to an end? She had been planning on spending the night in one of the on-call rooms at the hospital tonight anyways, but what about tomorrow and the day after? Should she give them time to reconsider, maybe talk to him, or should she find an apartment and not look back? There was an obvious attraction to the path of least resistance, to just find a place, and put a wall around her heart, to let it mend. It seems like he loved the idea of her more than her actual self, it hurt so incredibly much to hear him draw a final line under their relationship. If he thought they couldn’t be together, what would that mean for them, were they supposed to go their separate ways like strangers? They weren’t partners anymore and she had no idea how their friendship could survive all that had been said, or in some cases remained unsaid, bottled up out of pride or fear. Why couldn’t they be open about their feelings outside of crisis or danger? What at one time seemed mysterious and exciting now just left her feeling cold and empty. When was the last time he told her that he loved her? She couldn’t remember and even that seemed strangely fitting. 

Her head was starting to ache because of too many tears unshed.  She looked around the office, noticing the red blinking light of the printer for the fist time. Once she refilled the paper tray her heart skipped several beats, when the realization of how much danger he had put himself in again, hit her. She called his cell, but wasn’t really surprised that there was no answer. She left a message and tried the FBI task force. After being brushed off by Agent Drummy she knew there was only one person that could help at this point.

Skinner picked up on the first ring. “Sir, I need your help. It’s Mulder...I’m afraid he’s in danger.” she hated how panicky and scared she sounded, but Skinner simply replied “Where are you, Dana?”

The next hours where a blur, she barely registered what was happening. The whirlwind of finding her car driven off the road, holding his cell in her hand covered in his blood, Skinners attempt of putting her mind at ease, driving around while grasping at straws while a nameless fear was squeezing her, making it impossibly hard to breathe. She prayed to God and all the Saints.

_ Please don’t let this be the last words he said to me. _

Finding him in that shed with a looming figure wielding an axe standing over him snapped her out of her head, and she grabbed the first thing she saw and swung it. Surprised about the forceful impact, she dropped the piece of wood and leaned down to check on him. She could feel the adrenaline rushing through her body like a tide and said “Mulder, can you hear me?” Her clinical mind going into overdrive and thoughts about vitals, visual traumas and responsiveness rushed to the surface. 

_ Please let him be okay! _

“Sorry about your car.” Was all he said. “The girl is still inside.” He was clearly in shock, possibly drugged and hypothermic. She needed to find something dry and warm for him to wear. As she walked into the building across the yard, her worry was replaced with the horror that unfolded in front of her.

“I’ve got work to do here.” 

  
  
  



	3. Can I drive you home?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Christians surgery in IWTB

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading

“Dr. Scully…” the sound of the nurse clearing her throat awkwardly made her look up with a questioning look, that was quickly replaced with understanding.

“How long has he been here?” Scully nodded towards the uncomfortably reclined and obviously asleep shape of Mulder in the hospital waiting area.

“I’m not sure, my shift started 4 hours ago and he was already sitting there completely passed out.” was the answer, now laced with the curious note of spiked interest.

“I see.” Scully sighed with slight annoyance, she knew there was already plenty of speculation concerning her personal life floating around the nurses lounge without her fanning the flames with a floor show. She had to deal with him and their still unresolved situation at some point, she just wasn’t thrilled to be doing it here and now. Thankfully he stirred at her approach and stretched with a big yawn.

“How is he?” was the first thing out of his mouth and it took her a minute to figure out to whom he was referring. “I know the surgery was yesterday, but I wanted to make sure…” he stopped abruptly, not sure how to finish, as he nervously started looking at his hands, suddenly afraid that he'd miscalculated. “I’m sorry.” he rambled on, waiting for a response from her, anything really to gauge what she was thinking. God, she looked dead on her feet, it took everything he had to not just scoop her up in his arms. But she just stood there, rooted to the spot, not sure how to respond.

“How much longer you’ve got here?” he asked after a few minutes, realizing that no response was forthcoming, breaking the uncomfortable silence. “I could drive you home?” This seemed to break the spell, and she swallowed hard, shaking her head slightly as if trying to will herself to be present.

“Mulder, I..” she started, but was unsure how to continue “I don’t want to do this here.” there was a tone of underlying defeat in her voice and he hated that she thought he was trying to take advantage of the fact that they were at her place of work with curious people watching their exchange.

“I know, I shouldn't have come here, it wasn’t to corner you, but I wasn’t sure when I’d see you again, and...” He took a step towards her “I swear I come in peace.” He smiled and held up his hands in mock surrender.

“I just finished my rounds, I need to catch up on some paperwork and check on my patients…” she rambled on, but as she saw how his face fell, she added quickly “you could wait?”

“Of course!“ he agreed immediately, which made her arch her eyebrows, adding a pointed “in my office.'' So he followed her, relieved and apprehensive at the same time. She closed both doors once they stepped inside and audibly exhaled.

“Scully, before you say anything, allow me to explain. I am not here to pressure you, or force you to have a conversation you are clearly not yet ready to have. I know the last 48 hours have been extremely difficult for you, I know you are worried about the boy and if you’ve made the right decision.” He took a cautious step towards her, taking her hand, that was balled into a fist by her side and slowly uncurled her fingers. She wasn’t even aware how tightly she had clenched them.

“Then why are you here?” she managed, as she was still avoiding his gaze. She was slightly swaying from exhaustion and still had a thousand things to do, paperwork, surgery notes and to check on Christian. Why was he here?

“I’m here because I care about you and I thought you could use a friend tonight. And even if I’m the last person you want to see right now, I didn’t want to take that choice from you. You can tell me to leave, and I will. Or you can let me support you in whatever capacity you’re most comfortable with. But I wasn’t going to ignore the fact that a person I care about is struggling and might need something to hold onto.” he opened his arms as he slowly let go of her hand and stepped back to show her that it was her call what happened next. And before she could make a conscious choice about what to do with his offer, a quiet sob broke from her and she fell into his embrace. It felt so good to be enveloped in his scent and warmth, being held up by his strong arms with his hands gently caressing her back.

“And that’s all?” she asked into his broad chest.

“Scouts honor, what kind of guy do you take me for, Scully?” he responded with a smile forming on his face, “You wound me!”. She chuckled as she withdrew from his embrace. She forgot sometimes how easy this came to them, the light banter and jokes. And whatever had gone wrong between them in the last decade, lack of support in times of need has never been one of them. No matter where they were in their relationship, he was still her best friend, and probably the person that knew her best. Encouraged by her response he pressed on “What do you say, Scully? You look in no shape to put pen to paper, let’s blow this Popsicle stand, what do you say?”

“You’re probably right, let’s go.”


	4. Such a simple thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mulder supporting Scully

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song mentioned is Ray LaMontagne "Such a Simple Thing". I was listening to it while writing, and it bled onto the page.  
> As before, I don't own the characters, this is just a reflection on what I think might have happened.  
> Thank you for reading.

“I should probably change and shower..” she leaned into the corner of her desk, contemplating the seemingly impossible feat, and shrugged after a minute.

“What for? So you pass out, and get yourself booked for B&B at work? Besides, I’m willing to let my vehicular dress code slide for you, but only this time!” his mischievous laughter was contagious, so she chuckled along as she playfully punched his bicep. 

“Then why are we still standing here? Get those little legs moving, Scully!” with that he grabbed her bag, handed her her coat and shoved her gently, but firmly towards the door. 

“I’m parked right outside.” 

******

She was quiet during the drive, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. He'd promised not push her, so he was silent, as the radio station cycled through slow and old ballads. He contemplated how surreal it felt, having her next to him, surrounded by their little cocoon of warmth in the interior of the car. The light from the dash illuminated them in a strange glow, as he drove them through the quiet night. 

_ What was she thinking? _

Ray LaMontagne was quietly singing about simple things, hearts desires and hearts of flame and paper. It struck him how fitting these words were, and turned to her with more questions than answers, just to realize that she had fallen asleep. He risked another moment to glance at her, how peaceful she looked, leaning slightly towards him, trusting that he will bring her safely to shore. 

So he focused on the road, trying to put out of his mind how beautiful she looked in that moment, and how the spell would break when they arrived at the house he still called their home.

Too soon his turn into the driveway came up, and she startled at the sound of tires crunching over gravel. 

“Hi there” he said softly, “thank you for saving me from having to make a decision on how to get you inside, without..” he trailed off, unsure how to phrase his thought “..imposing?”

“Always the gentleman, I see.” she smiled softly, while rubbing his arm affectionately. “Thank you.” After seeing the question in his eyes, she added “for respecting my choices, and your patience, and tonight. For being you”.

“Now you’re starting to worry me” he jokingly replied. “You sound delirious. Come on, doc. You need to lie down.” His face lit up regardlessly, so she opened the door and got out of the car. He followed her carrying her things, swiftly passed her going up the stairs, so he could open the door. She looked up at him tired and grateful, and he couldn’t help but feel his heart skipping a beat. 

He closed the door behind her, and they both stood a little awkward in the room. 

“Why don’t you head up, shower and take the bed? I’ll be here if you need anything. Are you hungry?” he rambled the question off as fast as he could, trying to defuse the weird tension that had settled over them. She smiled gratefully and just shook her head. 

“If it’s ok, I just wanna sleep. I should probably eat something, but I’m not sure I could at 3 am. How about breakfast in the morning? My treat!” she looked over her shoulder while ascending the stairs. “You’re not going to sleep?” she seemed a little unsure, not really certain how to ask if he was planning on joining her. 

“No, I’m not tired, I got to sleep at the hospital while you were saving lives, remember?” he joked, and she shook her head slightly at his comment. If she was disappointed, she didn’t show it. 

“Let me know if you need anything!” he called after her. But she was already gone, and minutes later he failed at not trying to imagine her stepping into the shower when he heard the water pipes coming to life. Doing the right thing never seemed so hard as in this moment. He was starting to be afraid if he’d give her any more space, she would disappear completely from view, but he also knew that if he forced this, he would lose her. So he turned with a sigh to make himself a cup of tea and turned on the TV. 

How did they get here?


	5. What now?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> waking up to an empty house. after IWTB

Scully woke with a start, with a slight panic flooding her body, as she didn’t immediately knew where she was. 

What time was it? 

Images from the previous night flashed through her mind, as she remembered Mulder at the hospital, him driving and then nothing. 

Where was he? 

She stretched and let out a content yawn, realizing she definitely woke in their formerly shared bedroom, and after lifting the sheet, that she was wearing an huge T-Shirt that most certainly wasn’t hers, with a pair of cotton shorts she hadn’t worn in years. She hadn't slept so well in weeks.

Snuggling back into the sheets for a moment, she was hoping to catch his scent, but all she could smell was her shampoo and lotion. Disappointed, she swung her feet out of bed, and went to the bathroom to start getting ready for her day. She dressed, and gave up on trying to tame her wild hair by putting it into a tight bun. She must have fallen asleep without drying it. 

On her way downstairs she noticed how quiet the house was. 

Where was he? 

She found her coat neatly hung up by the front door, her bag next to it. After searching for her cell, she almost dropped it in surprise when she saw the time. She was supposed to be at work in 30 minutes, but her car was still back at the hospital and she had no idea where Mulder was. That panicked feeling returned, especially when she heard his phone ring quietly in his office after dialing his number. She checked every room, but still found no trace of him. 

Scully was almost at the point of writing him a note and taking his truck when the front door opened and a sweaty, panting Mulder quietly walked in. 

“I was afraid I would wake you, so I went for a run”, he said with a broad smile, and after seeing her face added “What’s wrong, Scully?”

“I have to be at work in 30 minutes, my car is still at the hospital and…” she replied, the worried edge in her voice painfully evident. It wasn’t his fault, there was no way for him to know her schedule, but right now she regretted not just staying at the hospital last night.

But he, being Mulder was already grabbing his keys. “Do you have everything you need?”

"Yes, please let’s just go!” was her hurried reply, but he stopped in the door frame, giving her a measured look. “When was the last time you ate?” she looked back at him blankly. She honestly couldn’t remember. Surely at some time yesterday. What was he waiting for, she wondered. They needed to go!

But Mulder walked quickly back into the house, opened the fridge and rummaged through his pantry.

“Mulder!” Scully impatiently called from the porch. She saw him just shaking his head, a little frustrated. Well, she couldn’t really blame him.

In the car he handed her a bottle of some organic juice and a cereal bar. She smiled gratefully, as they pulled out of the driveway. 

Her offer to drive he had laughed off, with the comment that there were still things he wanted to experience before meeting his maker. She rewarded his comment with a quiet huff and then diplomatically asked if he had slept well.

He gave her a searching look and asked “you don’t remember much from last night, do you?”, but after seeing her face he immediately clarified, “I took the couch. But I do remember you promising me breakfast.” he pouted over-dramatically, before busting out laughing. 

“It worries me how hard you work. I’m so glad you let me drive you last night. I know residencies are grueling, but I worry that you don’t take enough care of yourself. Please promise me to never get behind the wheel in that state.” he sounded a little condescending and she bristled at his tone. 

“I’m fine. I have been on my own for most of my adult life and lived to tell the tale”, was her clipped reply. A lecture on self care was a bit much coming from him. She glanced over at him, and catching the hurt look on his face. 

“I’m sorry Mulder. I know you mean well. I’m just worried about being late and how my patients are…” she trailed off, ashamed at her earlier words. He was being so sweet, what was wrong with her?

They arrived at the hospital and he pulled up right in front without turning of the car, she couldn’t help but noticing a little disappointed. So she walked around to the drivers side and motioned for him to open. It was hard not to laugh at his confused look, as she leaned in and pulled him into a tight hug. 

“Scully, no, I am all sweaty from my run…” he protested, but wrapped his arms around her regardless. She pulled slightly back, and before she could change her mind, pressed her lips gently to his beautiful mouth. He stilled, stunned, afraid to move.

“I’m sorry about breakfast. Can I make it up to you with dinner?” she whispered softly against his lips “Please?”

He gently took her face in his hands, afraid to break the spell, and silently nodded as he pulled her close for another soft kiss.

“Call me when you’re done?” he searched her face before releasing her with a sigh.

She just looked at him, starry eyed.

“I will.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. I'd love to hear what you think! As always, the characters don't belong to me.


	6. dinner for two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mulder is holding Scully to her promise for dinner. In true X Files fashion, lot's of gazing, talking and tension.  
> Thank you for reading.

“Mulder, it’s me,” her voice sounded strange, there was an reverberant quality to it he couldn't place, making him wonder from where, and more importantly, why she was calling. Apprehension welled in him slowly, and he started bracing himself for the sentence he was sure was to follow. 

But she surprised him by saying “I just realized we never finalized plans for dinner. Do you prefer tonight, or would sometimes later this week be better?”

“Tonight!” he blurred out before he could help himself, and was relieved to hear her smiling on the other end when she ask almost shyly, “Would it be terrible to ask if you could make reservations for 8:00 pm?” She went on to explain that her day had been crazy, they had several ambulances on route from a multiple car crash on the beltway, and she just didn’t have time to take care of it. He felt like he should ask her if she needed to postpone, but selfishly didn’t want to take the chance of it never happening. 

“Any preferences?” he inquired, to which she replied “Anything spicy”.

“I can do hot and spicy, Scully” he replied, his voice laced with mock-suggestiveness. Silence. Did he go too far?

“Oh, I remember…” was her distracted reply, as he could hear voices in the background.

“Text me the address, please? I gotta go..” and with that she was gone.

A contemplative smile started forming on his features, and he caught the lady across the counter assessing him appreciatively. He made a show of scratching his jaw with his wedding band on full display, which in turn made the woman release an audible breath in disappointment and walk away.

Did Scully really just give him permission to plan their date? The spark of hope, ignited by their kiss this morning, blossomed and made his heart beat faster.

The next couple of hours passed in a blur of activities, he bought groceries, called the restaurant, cleaned the house and even contemplated changing the sheets. But her scent still lingered, and he just couldn’t bear the thought of sleeping without it tonight. He picked up his old shirt, hastily discarded by her this morning and inhaled deeply, as he imagined her bare body enveloped in it. Chiding himself to get a grip, he returned it to the hamper, chuckling lightly over where his thoughts had taken him.

Now there was nothing left to do but wait, so he snuggled into the pillows thinking of her. When it was time to shower and get dressed, he quickly checked his phone first, worried she might have texted to cancel. But her message simply read “Looking forward to tonight”, sending a tingling warmth down his spine. Looks like he wasn’t the only one contemplating their pending evening. 

The drive to the restaurant went by too quickly, he was going to be embarrassingly early, but he just couldn’t sit in the house for another minute. He wore the pair of dark jeans that she once told him looked sexy low on his hips with one of his favorite button down shirts. She wasn’t there yet, so he told the hostess that he’d be waiting at the bar. 

The bartender looked a little disappointed when all he ordered was a club soda, but soon they were discussing basketball animatedly, and he didn’t see Scully walking up until she tapped him lightly on the shoulder. “Mind if I borrow my date?” she shared a smile with the bartender, as Mulder was getting up after putting a couple of bills on the counter. He wasn’t sure if he should hug her, so he settled for putting his hand on her lower back to gently lead her towards their table. He couldn’t take his eyes off her. She was still wearing the same clothes as this morning, which probably meant she came straight from the hospital, but she had let her hair down, framing her face in soft, gentle curls. She was so incredibly beautiful. 

Time flew as they ate and talked, she told him about her day, the victims of the accident, which fortunately all seemed to be going to make a full recovery. He asked about Christian, and she launched into a dazzling explanation, that had him asking more than once for clarification. At this moment he was in awe of her, her passion, her fierce intelligence and dedication for her patients. He knew he must look like a love sick, besotten fool with a goofy smile on his face, but he couldn't help himself. What had he done to deserve someone like her?

As he was contemplating this, the waiter materialized, clearing their plates and trying to catch Mulders eye. 

“Yes?” Mulder asked him with a confused look, to which the waiter replied, “Are you Dr. Scully?” Mulder caught her annoyed look in the corner of his eye, and replied “No, that would be my beautiful wife. I’m just the kept husband…” while winking at her. 

“I‘m Dr. Dana Scully.” she said with a raised eyebrow, “How can I help you?”

The waiter looked absolutely mortified, and stuttered over the fact, that a couple had asked to pay their bill since she had saved their daughters life. Scully blushed, and asked if they had left, which the waiter quickly affirmed and hastily retreated. 

Mulder just beamed at her. “At the risk of sounding condescending, I am so proud of my beautiful wife...would she like to have dessert here, or have some ice cream at home?”

She licked her lips, while playing with her napkin and he was wondering which one of them was more nervous. So, to ease the tension he told her since she had not paid, it technically didn't count, and that she still owed him a meal. 

“I guess that’s fair” was her smirking reply. He helped her into her coat and led her carefully into the crisp night towards her car. He noticed she had parked next to him and his analytical mind automatically ran through all the possibilities that would motivate her to do so. A strand of hair had gotten caught between her lips while they silently walked, and he leaned down to gently brush it behind her ear, his fingers gently tracing her jawline. He felt her shiver and wondered if it was solely due to the chill in the air. 

“So, what say you? Do I bid you goodnight or are you up for some ice cream?” his heart was beating so loudly, he was afraid she could hear it. A shrug from her, she nervously shifted her weight from one foot to the other. He was disappointed by her lack of reply. The evening had been so perfect, so them, why was she still hesitating? He had spent all day to make this happen, to show her that he was trying. She was still looking at her feet. “Well, let me know when you figure out what you want.” He wasn’t angry, just crushed. 

As he started to walk away she caught the sleeve of his coat. “I know what I want. I’m just not sure about the right pace” she stepped into his space, touching her lips to his lightly. “I don't want to gloss over the cracks, I want us to last” she said without meeting his eyes “I want this to be the last time we are apart. But I’m afraid. Afraid to hurt you, to get hurt or finding us in the same spot we were weeks ago. Can you understand that?” 

He nodded silently, afraid that his voice would betray his frustration. “At one point you are going to have to take a leap of faith. What we are doing right now is not fair to either one of us. I love you Scully, and God knows, I’m trying. If that’s not enough, I need you to tell me.” he could hear the tears in his voice and shook his head in frustration. She leaned her forehead against his chest. “I’m sorry.”

“Are you asking me to console you for breaking my heart?!” He backed away, taking deep breaths to calm himself.

“No, Mulder, I’m not. Please don’t walk away. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you immediately how much I would like some ice cream.” she wrapped her arms around his waist “I didn’t mean to upset you. I appreciate you trying. ” 

“I need you to try, too. Can you understand that?” The irony of him repeating her question was not lost on him. 

“I do. Let me just follow you in my car, and try again. Do you have ice cream at the house?” She released him from her embrace and traced his lips gently with her thumbs. “Please?”

He kissed the pads of her thumbs gently, sending an electric current through her.

“I bought every flavor the store sells. And I could never resist you when you ask so nicely,” he smiled. “Let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just needed to distract myself, and this is the result. I hope you enjoy it. 
> 
> As always, none of the characters are mine. I'm just borrowing them to make sense of their timeline. This is my interpretation, if we disagree, let's do so kindly and respectfully. Thank you.


	7. Pulling punches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buckle up, kids, it's about to get real

The drive was uneventful, both of them contemplating the others thoughts. Scully knew he was right about her keeping them suspended, and that at some point she had to make a choice. It wasn’t about trust, she trusted him more than any other person. They just had a habit of losing sight of one another, both withdrawing instead of reaching out. The last two days had been a reminder that they were always better together, she just needed to stop playing ‘what if’. He had proven that he heard her and was trying, and she was tired of waiting and wanting. 

Pulling up behind him in the driveway, she saw that he was already inside. She walked in briskly, shrugged off her coat and looked around. The house was spotless, he had lit candles and poured them each a glass of wine. Noticing the little smile that flashed across his face, she shook her head and whispered “I guess I’m not very good at this..”

“Depending on what it is you’re referring to, I will have to reserve judgment on the accuracy of that statement.” He laughingly replied. “Anything I can help with?”

Bastard. Was he laughing at her? Her face must have betrayed her last thought, because he quickly pulled her close and nuzzled her hair. “Hey, I was kidding. What’s the matter?” 

“I don’t know how to take the next step,” she quietly replied, while resting her forehead against his broad chest. God, he smelled good. 

“You need me to take the wheel? But then you have to tell me what it is that you want. I don’t plan on pulling my punches.” Lifting her chin gently, he fixed her with a look so intense, she was afraid she might combust on the spot. “I need you to tell me why we’re here. I don’t want to wake up in the middle of the night to find you gone, and us still in the same spot as before. God knows, there are a couple of things I’d rather do right now, but I need you to talk to me, Scully.” Her face warmed, and she tried to turn her head, but his fingers held her firmly in place, sending a wave of arousal through her body. “Tell me...” he whispered as leaned down, kissing her tenderly behind her ear, drawing lazy circles with his tongue. Her body tingled as her words failed her, so instead of answering, she rose up on her toes and lifted her face to be kissed. 

He made a low appreciative sound that resonated deep Within her, as he released her face, pulling her close, not wasting another minute, kissing her with such abandon that he lifted her off her feet. Responding in kind, she wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her body against his. His tongue entered her mouth, savoring her, and it felt so good to be in his arms, as he gently traced the outline of her perfect lips. She welcomed his warm embrace, as she caressed his lower lip gently with her teeth, eliciting a low moan from him. Shivering, she pulling him even closer, to taste him, devour him, while raking her nails over his scalp.

It felt as if time stood still between them, both absorbed in the dizzying reality of their embrace. As she pulled back, catching her breath, he realized he was holding her about a foot suspended off the ground, and put her gently back on her feet, looking a little embarrassed. 

“You haven’t touched your wine!” he surprised even himself by saying. She raised one eyebrow, picked up the glass and downed it in two hasty gulps. While stepping out of her heels, it was her turn to give him a smoldering glance, her eyes dark with an unnamed emotion. 

“If you are not upstairs in one minute, I’ll start without you.” 

“Talking about not pulling punches…” He shook his head in disbelief and hurried after her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for taking the time, reading this. Your kind support, comments and kudos are, as always appreciated.
> 
> Again, none of the original characters belong to me, I'm just taking them out for a spin.


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